Before moving to the next leg of Aedan’s ‘vacation’, as I sat this morning sipping coffee and contemplating what happens next, I thought I’d take a few moments to comment on the last episode, ‘Awakening’.
I have observed a recent change in my relationship with my avatar Aedan and Secondlife in general. Perhaps it is just that Aedan has now lived in SL for near 12 years. Perhaps it is because of an ‘awakening’ experience I recently had in RL. I am not certain of which to blame.
It was only this morning that I noticed the RL/SL similarities. After a few years roleplaying in a highly charged and emotional atmosphere, I identified highly with my avatar and know from discussions with friends that I wasn’t alone. Currently, Aedan is not necessarily ‘me’ but a tool to help develop and share my current interest in artistic expression..he is becoming but a canvas to paint on. As has Christi..
In the past I was logging into SL looking for social interaction. That is still enjoyable and appreciated – if not taken to the extremes – but that is currently second fiddle to trying to find the right hair, the right clothes…the right place to take a picture.
And it doesn’t stop there, taking the resulting images and trying improve or manipulate them in processing has become a form of ‘painting’. Truly, SL is just a portion of the ‘process’. It’s a very important one because I am not able to draw anything comparable though I am truly envious of those that have that ability.
In RL, I’m also still experiencing a bit of a ‘disconnect’ from everyday worries and concerns and still sorting it out. As I’ve similarly become a bit less ‘social’, my desire to create is occupying most of my thoughts. This body is currently little more than a tool to accomplish my ends.
Despite the possible downsides (I was really enough of a hermit before this happened) I see this as a positive experience as is the ‘disconnect’ in SL because it will, I believe, permit me to tell a better story than I might have if I were feeling an emotional connection with any avatars.
If you have taken the time to follow any of this story and/or to read this commentary, I hope it results in a positive and enjoyable experience for you too.